Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Stepping stone

I've lost my passion in medicine. It is match week and I cannot care less. I see people excited about residency and I do not share their sentiment.

I still love the science of medicine itself but the field as a profession holds no excitement for me, because I know practicing alone won't make a good enough dent in the life of my patients if the system as a whole does not improve, if doctors can't even agree to put their greed aside and put the interests of the patients first and foremost. One of the things I hate the most in life is a bad team, and going into medicine I know I can't control who my team members are. There are so many things wrong with medicine that I can't wait to walk away and start over - I'm distracted by the glitter of creating something that is my own and hand-picking my own team, knowing that if I fail, I will have failed with the best and it will be a great learning experience. Comparing my twitter columns, one in health care and one in social entrepreneurship, the grass is definitely greener on the other side.

It seems I have fulfilled the prediction that most medical students will have burned out by the time they graduate, but I do think I definitely crashed and burned harder than others. Deep down I hope I didn't match so that I could go into health consulting and learn something pertinent to my current passion. It doesn't look like an exciting 3 years from here, but at least I'll know how to save lives - a girl could always use that.

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