And it was today, and 5 seconds ago when I checked, I was still happy.
I remember I wasn't happy for the longest time, coz I was looking for that missing piece in my life. Now that I think I've found one or that I no longer need one at this point, that thought is liberating. School is great and exciting everyday, because the more I learn the more I'm sure this is what I want to do. When in doubt, I watch House and it puts me right back where I belong. The daily possibility is endless, whether it is for food I can pick at will or the impact I can make 10 years from now. I'm lucky that I exhilarate at smallest things and it's very easy to make me happy. Just take me window shopping for desserts, and even if you don't buy me anything I'll still be jaw-droppingly happy =D
This is completely unrelated, but first day of anatomy was intense. I never thought I'd be creeped out by bodies, blood or anything in this world really, but the moment I saw my cadaver covered under a plastic wrap and all I really saw was his feet, it hit me that this is a dead person and not a dead mouse or a dead frog in labs that I've seen before. Maybe creeped out is the wrong word, more like felt the gravity of what I was doing. When I cut through the back and looked at his back muscles, I then again switched to the scientific specimen mindset and focused on my task of locating muscles, but then my friend dragged me to this sheet that tells us what our cadaver died of and I found out that my guy died of dehydration and poor oral intake, which then pulled me right back to the "this is your human patient, not a specimen" mindset. Then cutting through his back felt completely different from the minute before when I felt I was just in a high school bio lab. it reminded me that I cannot cut what I will and throw the specimen away after lab or get a new rat to work on. This is a human body - it is priceless. My guy made a great sacrifice when he donated his body and his decision is not to be treated lightly.
Anyway my guy still remains to be named. Any suggestion?????